The Feeling of Depression
by TheClaudMaster
Summary: Spoilers for Book 3 Finale. One-shot of Korra's inner thoughts on all her experiences and exactly how she feels about them. A monologue of some sorts.


**I had to write this. I couldn't help it. The look in Korra's eyes reminded me of the eyes I once looked at in the mirror. The moment was so tangible, realistic - so ****_relatable _****- and I just had to write about it.**

**It's kind of like a monologue.**

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**Disclaimer: Legend of Korra is owned by Bryke, Nickelodeon Studios, Viacom, and is animated by Studio Pierrot and Studio Mir. Please support the official release in all its glory.**

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I've been through a lot ever since I came to Republic City. I've fought an anti-bending revolution, an evil relative, the force of all darkness, and [just a few days ago] the four most powerful benders and criminals in the world. I don't expect people to understand what I've gone through, and I don't expect them not to pity my situation. I do, however, expect the people I love most to be there for me. But something is different.

I don't feel like I used to feel. I used to consider myself my own person, as in I didn't refer to myself as the same person as Aang, Roku, or Kyoshi. I knew that well, I really did. But there were times when I doubted if I really was Korra and not the Avatar. I used to just preoccupy myself and think that by doing so, it would take my mind off that particular subject. And it did... It's different now, though.

I know I'm human; that I'm Korra and not just the Avatar. But what I've been through in that dungeon, when I was hallucinating past villains, caused me to realize I just brushed those problems off my shoulder as opposed to actually realizing how hard they really hit me. The Revolution, the Civil War, Vaatu, and the Red Lotus: I hadn't realized how traumatizing those events were until three hours later, after I noticed I couldn't feel my legs. Those dealings hurt me immensely and I didn't pay attention to the consequences.

After I defeated Amon, I put on a smile and told myself I was fine. I lied to myself.

After I defeated Unalaq and Vaatu, I put on a smile and told myself it was going to be just fine. I lied to myself.

After I defeated Zaheer and the Red Lotus, I didn't talk for three days until I figured out why I was feeling the way I am. I'm depressed. I've developed something Tenzin calls _post-traumatic stress disorder_. He said I've been through severely emotionally hurtful events that triggered it, along with the threat of death at hand.

I told myself I was fine so many times and it baffles me that I was able to do so considering the mental and physical anxiety I've been through three times. I've repressed these feelings for so long, and now it's taking a toll on me. It's as if the universe is telling me it's time to give up by putting me through three traumatic events, giving me a major anxiety disorder, and putting me in a wheel chair for spirits knows how long.

But I haven't given up yet and I never will give up. Just because the universe temporarily cripples me, gives me PTSD, and seemingly wants to kill me, I'm in this for the long run. I won't let these circumstances get in the way of me bringing peace, as well as living the life I want to live.

Though as I listen to Tenzin giving his speech, I can't help but think about all the shit I went through. I'm depressed and happy simultaneously, and I don't know why.

This isn't over. I can feel it in my aching bones and sense it in my destroyed mind. Call it Avatar's Intuition, but I can feel something and it makes me feel absolutely miserable.

That's why I couldn't help but slightly lean my head back... and cry.

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**I'm sorry if I made it depressing. But there is no way in hell that someone could have been through that much shit and NOT get PTSD.**

**Tell me how you feel about the Finale in a review.**

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**-TheClaudMaster**


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